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The Euros are not averse to a pointless race for the Golden Boot. Michel Platini went wild in 1984 when he scored nine, but the 1980, 1992 and 2012 editions were won by just three. Fewer games than the World Cup, of course, but while the top goalscorers of this tournament roll off the tongue of every football geek worth their salt (Kempes, Rossi, Lineker, Schillaci, etc.), a pat on the back , if you can name the Euro Golden Boot winners in ’80, ’92 and ’12.
All of this comes to mind as no one has managed more than two so far Euro 2024. They all came in separate matches, so is anyone really going to score a brace anytime soon?
2 Niklas Fulkrug, Ivan Shrantz, Georges Mikoutadze, Jamal Musiala and Cody Gakpo. Featured here in a much more beautiful graphics.
Group C secured exactly zero goals yesterday: England 0-0 Slovenia, Denmark 0-0 Serbia. The Group of Sleep or perhaps The Group of Binary after delivering 1-0, 0-0 or 1-1 results in all six matches. But rather than finding numerical patterns, perhaps there is something more significant here. We have an email on this very topic.
Ian Clover writes: “Here’s my attempt to be positive: look at the other results in England’s group. None of Denmark, Serbia or Slovenia ever “went for it”. It was a boring, tricky, tight group and the only team to emerge victorious was England. Put them against a team that’s willing to come out and play us and we’ll click soon enough.”
Email Jude Bellingham after another poor performance by England’s great hope against Slovenia.
Sean Wilkinson says: “I feel like all the talk about TAA/Gallagher/which halfback should be where is burying the lead on how truly awful Jude Bellingham has been in the last two games. Is Southgate afraid to replace him? Some star players seem to be immune to being dropped or substituted nowadays (see also Mbappe vs Poland) but I feel like his attitude in the last few games has really hampered the players around him. I never expected to say this as I fully expected him to be brilliant in this tournament, but I think I’ll leave him out next game, put Foden in his preferred role in the middle and bring Gordon in on the left. Am I exaggerating?”
Not really Sean. Something is definitely wrong, I agree. You can tell by the passing of Bellingham. A lot of it has this kind of weird high tracking that seems to send a nagging message of “Then I’ll have to get on with it since none of you are running off into space.” Prime Jude fires the ball sharply and then immediately darts into space instead of passing slowly and standing still.
I’m sticking with this Group D fixturePoland manager Michal Probierc has hit back at those critical of Robert Lewandowski’s raucous penalty-taking technique.
It doesn’t matter how he scores them. You cannot tell a player who scored [more than] 600 goals how to score goals.
Full quotes for this match here, including this wisdom from France coach Didier Deschamps. “You can’t always read a competition from the group stage alone.” Take note England fans.
Two iconic strikers scored in France’s 1-1 draw with Poland. Kylian Mbappe saved his spot-kick with grace and aplomb, but Robert Lewandowski made Jack Douglas look fluid before finally scoring his second penalty. Here is Ben Fisher’s report.
And what a turn it would be for Ralf Rangnick if Austria opened the victory champagne. More ‘Neck it Ralph!’ than Wreck it Ralph. The Austrian boss, who was much-mocked for his interim spell in charge of Manchester United, praised his team for a “brave and energetic” performance against Holland.
The World Cup is a closed shop. The greatest nations always triumph. But it is different in the euro, as unlikely winners like Denmark (1992) and Greece (2004) show. So how about Austria pulling off a shocker in 2024? They’ve been a breath of fresh air so far and, topping a group that includes France and the Netherlands, they’ve played the easier side of the draw (an Austria v England semi-final is possible).
Here’s the match report from their highly entertaining 3-2 win over the Dutch yesterday.
The one-sided draw explains the general bewilderment as to why England are the bookies’ favourites. There are better teams than what we have seen so far, but the odds on England’s main rivals are kept higher due to their more complicated paths to the final. England are artificially inferior as they avoid most of the big guns and have less to beat.
Odds for Euro 2024: 4/1 England, 9/2 Germany, Spain, 5/1 France, 6/1 Portugal, 14/1 Netherlands, 18/1 Belgium, Italy, 25/1 Austria, 40/1 Switzerland, 66/1 Denmark. The rest 100/1 or more.
And what does that say about it being better to be a happy general than a good one? It’s fair to say that England have had some favorable tournament draws under Gareth Southgate and this one might be the best of them all. Check yours official group for Euro 2024 and you’ll notice the top half of the draw is loaded: Spain v Germany and Portugal v France would be the two quarter-finals if this were to form. England have avoided all that, their only known lower enemies being just a bunch of ski nations: Austria, Switzerland and Italy. Belgium and Holland look set to join them, but two past lowland bests shouldn’t strike fear into England either. It’s on!
The positive image of England is not too far-fetched. This is tournament football. Grinding the results at this stage is really not bad. Portugal drew in all three group matches when they won Euro 2016 silverware and their only regular-time win throughout the tournament was a 2-0 success against Wales in the semi-finals. It’s not pretty; let me paraphrase: it’s as boring as dishwater. But… England conceded just one goal and won the group. Let’s stare in him for a while to soak in that meat and two vegetable points and a goal difference.
Gareth Southgate’s diplomacy was strained last night, opting to go with the England fans, creating an “unusual environment” after several threw plastic beer cups at him as he went to cheer after the 0-0 draw. Rather fittingly, none hit the mark.
I understand the narrative to me. This is better for the team than for him, but it creates an unusual working environment. I haven’t seen another team qualify and get like that.
What did the England fans make of it in Cologne last night? Microphone in hand, our roving reporter Paul McInnes walked into their midst.
A gut-wrenching assessment of Conor Gallagher’s 45-minute performance last night, courtesy of Barney Roney. It’s hard to disagree.
Gallagher produces one of the sharpest, weirdest, edgiest performances you’re likely to see at this level. It took him 10 minutes 48 seconds to touch the ball. Here is a list of the things he did before he touched the ball. He fouled someone. He fell. He stood in a strange non-position. By the end of his 45 minutes, he had one clearance, two fouls, 13 passes, all short and generally just a nervous tic that pushed the ball away. Gallagher is a muscular runner. But he is a man for whom football happens.
At least England provides plenty of opportunities to riff on prog rock/jazz names. Adding to the “Trent Alexander Experiment” we now have the “Harry Kane Paradox”. Catch them on Jools Holland soon.
Of course, he’s too good a passer to just leave him on top and feeding on scraps like cockney Haaland. He is too good a poacher to play as a pure number 10. But he is not astute enough to play both roles in the same phase of the game at the moment.
How about some England player ratings? Those from Jacob Steinberg, who awards four 7s – two are given to reserves. You can probably guess who got a 4. #failedexperiment
Let’s start with the basics. Here is a report from the match by David Hyttner from Cologne.
Southgate’s side settled down and Mainoo’s composure was part of that.
Preamble
Great news. England topped their group on Euro 2024. This is more than France can do. And the hosts, Germany, surpassed theirs only thanks to a goal in added time.
Yet such basic analysis simply won’t do, as teeth continue to be gnashed about England’s latest lackluster performance: 0:0 draw with Slovenia.
We’ll have all the reaction from Cologne, where there was real joy and celebration, although it came from Slovenia, whose third straight draw was enough to see them through to the last 16.
They are also Austria bona fide dark horses?
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